So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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