We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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