remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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