wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I want her autograph on my taint
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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