I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
