I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
