By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize