I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
