I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
