Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
