Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
