i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
