I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
