I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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