I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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