She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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