yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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