if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
