This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
