why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
