This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I can't turn off my feet"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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