K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
