its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
