I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
