No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just gift wrapped bread.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize