Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
