Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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