Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
