she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I cut my penus on the lid.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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