the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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