She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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