I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
nutella sex= disaster
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
