They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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