he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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