You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
