don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
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