1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
