I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
