Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
