the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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