btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Randomize
