there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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