***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
my sisters under your porch take her home
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
i think my cat just said my name.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
