Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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