i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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