He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
