Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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