im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
