WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
