after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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