oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
