In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
