We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize