: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I think im going to throw up on grandma
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
