guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
