Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
