she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize