I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize