ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Randomize
