the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
