I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
the day after is always just damage control
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
