Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
