GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
