what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Let's get the cat blown out
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
