onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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