Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
