But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
