the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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