Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
she looked like the before picture.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
You're earring is so big in my mouth
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
